I don't like my appearance & it sucks because I always say "If you don't like your appearance do something about it to change it." It's not easy taking your own advice. I can't tell my friend or parents or brother or anything what I'm thinking because they'll just think I'm pretending or something or tell me "You look fine, it's okay." I'm so unhappy with my body, I look skinny but once I take my clothes off to change or get in the shower I look at myself & all I see is fat, everywhere, fat. I haven't been eating & when I do I force myself because I'm around people that love me and I don't want them to know what's going on inside my head or what I think of myself. I don't wanna resort to throwing up or starving myself but if I do It'll just be until I'm okay with the way my body looks. I wanna tell a friend but I feel like if I were to tell her she would tell her friend ( an old friend of mine, we cannot stand each other anymore.)  & they'll talk about me jokingly thinking I'm trying to get attention or something when that's not the case or she'll say "You're skinny, wtf are you talking about."  I'm so insecure with my body & have no one to talk to that will understand where I'm coming from. Before I shower I just sit there looking at my body, pointing out countless flaws, doing body checks & tugging at my skin I think is fat. I just don't want this to turn into a serious problem & I definitely don't want my father finding out what I think about myself, it would break his little heart.